“One of the greatest gifts of the sacred feminine is to guide the masculine from head to heart. This happens effortlessly if he is open to it. Her embodiment, her energy, her love, her voice, her movements are an invitation to breathe deeper, to feel deeper, to become present, and to open his heart.” -Lorin Krenn
Something I have become an expert at in this work and in my life in general is staying supple amidst uncertainty, bracing for the cold while leaning into practices and patterns that keep my heart warm.
It can be easy to let myself get caught up in the harsher aspects of this line of work. Fakes or scammers, flakey or disrespectful clients, not knowing when the next booking will come in, “will I make enough to pay for health insurance this month?” In enduring all these things, I’m proud that I still command my space with love and grace. I allow myself and invite my suitors to be open to give and receive love and kindness. Has every day been a walk in the park? Absolutely not. Some days I question what I'm doing in an industry that I’ve seen harden so many. “What is it all for anyway?” Those days usually come in the middle of December, when it’s dark and cold, amidst the slow season, or when I meet someone who makes me ask the former question. In sharing how I navigate self care, I hope to inspire my friends to take initiative in their own self care.
So, what helps this lover girl get through it all other than amazing experiences with my lover boys?
Therapy. It seems like a no brainer, but remember I did pose the question of, “Will I make enough for health insurance this month?” That answer has not always been a ‘yes’. I’m happy to say that I love my therapist. She’s given me tools to think deeply without taking things personally. She’s helped me ground myself around traumatic memories so I can find agency without blaming myself for the past. She helped me in finding coping mechanisms so I don’t repeat patterns of harm. Talk therapy isn’t for everyone, but I’m really glad it’s something I chose to seek out. Self-help books, podcasts and other forms of media have been a huge part of my self-exploration too, I’m constantly reading books that help expand my mind-set and allow me to dig deeper, sit with, and integrate my shadows. I want to honor my whole self, not just the parts that look and feel good.
Writing. I have a busy mind. I’m a chronic over-analyzer. Writing let’s me get my thoughts out even when I don’t feel I can share them with others. Sometimes I’m writing fiction and I’m not even talking about the exact moment I feel like I’m bottling up but it ends up being something adjacent, something that allows the feeling to integrate because it’s information that doesn’t have a place in my life. I recommend journaling to everyone, even if you’re just doodling and writing lists. Let those thoughts and feelings be expressed!
Traveling. I don't mean going on vacation whenever shit hits the fan—I do take those kind of breaks, they are so important! What I mean is--traveling for work has made my life in this industry a lot more exciting! And, I have less days of worry when it’s quiet. I have learned the max train/plane ride length I’m willing to sit on before needing a break or settling into a city for a day or two. This has allowed me to meet even more wonderful people than I would if I was just working as a hot young escort in Minneapolis, MN. I have had the opportunity to see sites that I have been dreaming about seeing for years! Traveling makes my life feel full and scratches my wanderlust itch just right!
Spiritual Practices. I know a lot of people don’t think of escorts as spiritual healers but Jesus was hanging out with ladies like me for a reason. I get to meet such a wide range of personalities, it gives me a dynamic perspective of the world. I get to see what others find soothing and a I get to explore my own capacity for self-soothing techniques. I took a Reiki class last year that changed how I sit with my energy, how I look for it in my body, how I show up for my needs and for others. Self soothing comes before any other good you can do for yourself or others. And, since this work has given me the privilege of time I've been able to explore within and deepen my practice. I've had the immense privilege of exporing yoga, reiki, sound healing, and natural/herbal medicines. I have learned so much about alternative medicine and I have even began incorporating some in my GFE sessions. It’s a bonus for both parties. Good sex isn’t just about the act, it’s about the presence you're capable of bestowing during and around it.
Yoga. I can't speak highly enough about yoga. After a family member I was very close to passed away I was a mess. Luckily, I was already deeply committed to my yoga practice at that point in time. I took my grief and frustration to the yoga studio. There I spent many days letting tears flow from my eyes, letting out anger and confusion so it didn’t become pent up energy in my body. The slow active movement was enough to let out these emotions physically while integrating and pondering their depth. Yoga has allowed me to find peace instead of being at war with myself. And, it’s just a great workout!
Community. This honestly should be the first on the list but I left the most important for last. When I let go of my own subconscious whorephobia, when I let go of fear of potential competition and realize my colleagues could be some of my closest friends everything starts shifting and flourishing. I love meeting my colleagues these days. Have I meet people who I decided I didn’t need to hang out with them a second time? Yeah, totally. I also have met some angels walking in human flesh. A woman who introduced me to more inclusive colleagues and we all watch out for each other. A woman who helped me find housing where I feel supported in my work. I opened my heart and I was blessed, even on some of the coldest days of the year. I started opening up to my civilian friends and a lot of them said, "Yeah, I figured." and moved on to, "So, what do you want for lunch?" like I was just sharing the state of the weather. What a relief. Now, I don’t run. I don’t hide. I welcome others with open arms and an open (yet discerning) heart, little by little. It’s all about knowing and holding strong boundaries while letting people in to fill my life with more love and joy!
Today, I invite each and every one of my suitors, friends and fans to ask themselves, “How do I keep my heart open in moments of tension?” This is where we find the kinks that stop us from flowing full of abundant goodness and love—to allow peace for ourselves and our loved ones. This is where we find what we truly need so we can honor our whole selves.
Best,
Supple Rose
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